I sent this text today to a friend who was asking about my past...
I just felt as if I needed to put it on my blog...
..............I just dont talk much about my deep past. Too many bad memories. And I'd rather not even dig them out.
They have tendencies of popping up when I least need them to be.
Dont take it personal.
Its not you, I'm just very private about it all.
I've seen a lot in my life, some things that would give some nightmares for the rest of their lives..
But I have overcome it all, because I absolutely refuse to become a victim and a statistical figure.
We as Americans are nothing like we were 50 years ago.
We so quickly lay down our strengths to gain a moment of attention and sympathy, instead of grabbing that demon by the throat and kicking his ass all the way back to hell where he came from.
I'm a fighter, much like yourself.
But for myself I just cant talk about it much.
I have faced death so many time in my life, that i look back and shake my head in amazement at how i am still breathing.
Sometimes that guilt of surviving when others perished knocks on me...hard.
But I leave it where it started and move on.
It has gotten easier over the years, but still not without a cost.
Marilyn never understood me, and she never took the time to get to know me, truly know me..
She would get pissed off when I would get up out of bed and walk through the house in the middle of the night after hearing a noise downstairs...
Along with many other things.
People seem to have this fantasized persona of who they require you to be, and when you're not...
You then become the demon in the room.
This is the breakdown of it all for me.
But I've got this...
Hands down.
Every scar, ache, pain and twitch...
Is just like a stack of lego blocks for me and my life now....
Bobby
